Consent Openers

- "Can I kiss you?"

- "Do you want me to hold you against the wall?"

- "I'd like to touch your boobs."

- "Can we talk about spanking?"

- "Please do that again."

These are all great consent openers. Each of them does one or more of the following:

- states a desire the speaker has - "I want to..."

- asks about the other's desire - "Do you want to...?"

- asks for permission - "Can I do this?"

- suggests action - "Will you do that?"

- opens conversation - "Can we talk about...?"

And the key is that all of these leave the conversation open to a 'no'. The other person can decline if their wants & needs don't match the speaker's. It's important that a 'no' is available, and that it's respected. No pouting or guilt-tripping allowed. However, offering an alternate is fine.

"If you don't want me to play with your boobs, would it be alright if I played with your hair instead, or would you rather we just watch TV?" I hear several key points here:

- I want to play with your boobs - if you also want it.

- If you don't want it, I respect your no, and still want to be friendly with you.

- I've paid attention, and I know you like your hair played with. I'm offering that as an alternate.

- But if you don't want any affectionate touching, I'm content to just spend time with you without touching.

Ya'll, this is sexy stuff. And with this much respect offered for my 'no', I'm so much more likely to come up with a 'yes'. Looking out for your partner's comfort and desires is one of the sexiest things you can do. Make them feel respected and listened to, and you'll be respected and listened to in return.