Consent Models

One of the things you'll hear discussed over and over again in the Kink community is Consent. Everything we do revolves around the concept of Consent, and you'll rarely encounter any kind of Kink Education that doesn't have at least a quick mention of Consent, Respect, and Negotiation, which are all very inter-related concepts. 

One of the ways we talk about Consent is to present various Consent Models to give a structure to how we discuss the concept. There are a lot of different models in use, and they all really come down to saying the same thing - "be sure that everyone involved in your kinkplay understands what's included and the risks they are taking, and agrees to participate without any coercion."

But because there are so many models out there, and they do differ a little in HOW they say that, I'd like to present some of the most common models and discuss them here. I'll explain each one from my understanding of it. Understand, of course, that different people and organizations would explain each bit a little differently, depending on where they learned it from and how they use it. But the intent is largely the same, even if the words used differ.

SSC - Safe Sane Consensual

The original consent model is SSC, around since 1983. It was intended to be a minimum standard for ethically defensible kinkplay, to differentiate it from abusive behavior like domestic violence.

• Safe - Everyone involved is aware of risks taken, and will strive to make everything as safe as reasonably possible.
• Sane - Each participant is an adult of sound mind and able to legally and safely consent to the activities. At my local club, the idea is also added that 'sane' means we are aware of the difference between reality and fantasy in our kink.
• Consensual - All participants consent to participate without coercion.

RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink

SSC was followed by RACK - Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. This standard acknowledges that what is considered 'sane' to some is not to others. Some behavior is inherently risky, but is okay to engage in, as long as everyone involved is aware of and accepts those risks. Nothing is considered 'safe' or 'unsafe', but instead is 'safer' and 'less safe'.

• Risk-Aware - Participants are well-informed of the risks involved in the proposed activity.
• Consensual - Knowing the risks, everyone has consented to engage in the activity.
• Kink - This activity can be classified as alternative sex.

PRICK - Personally Responsible Informed Consensual Kink

The focus of PRICK is to put more responsibility for risk on the individual, and promote more self-awareness and accountability. PRICK asserts that each person is responsible for educating themselves about the activity and communicating their needs, desires, boundaries, and expectations.

• Personally Responsible - Individuals are expected to clearly define their own boundaries around their personal tolerance for risk. Each takes on the responsibility for their own participation.
• Informed - Each participant understands the risks which they are choosing to take, and have educated themselves around how to perform the activity as well as what could go wrong.
• Consensual Kink - Having shared information, about risk and boundaries, everyone involved agrees to participate.

FRIES

The FRIES model comes to us from Planned Parenthood, intended to be used in discussions around sexual activities. But for the most part, it works well for kink activities as well.

• Freely Given - Consent must include a 'yes' given without any coercion - "I guess so" isn't good enough. It requires that a 'no' will be honored as a refusal to participate in the activity.
• Reversible - Anyone involved in a scene at any time can withdraw their consent.
• Informed - Consent doesn't mean anything unless everyone involved understands what they are consenting to. This means education around the process and steps that are involved in the type of kinkplay, as well as discussion about the risks that go along with the play, including what happens if things go differently than planned.
• Enthusiastic/Engaged - Consent should be enthusiastic. "Yeah I guess that's okay" isn't consent. "Yes, let's do it!" is good enthusiastic consent. However, we've started moving away from using Enthusiastic here, and instead have picked up Engaged. A participant in a scene may not be excited & enthusiastic about the activity - say, for a punishment they have earned. But they need to be engaged, agreeing fully that the activity should continue and that they give their permission for it.
• Specific - Consent needs to be explicit to be meaningful. Not just "yes, I'll do some kind of scene with you", but "yes, I want to do this kind of scene with you."

EPP - Explicit Prior Permission

EPP was an outcome in 2013 of the Consent Counts project from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF). It's goal is to decriminalize BDSM by ensuring that consent will be recognized as a valid defense to criminal charges brought under assault laws and other statutes through adding EPP to the Model Penal Code.

• Did you agree to the specific acts you're going to do together, including if there's going to be any sexual contact like touching the breasts or genitals?
• Is everyone an adult and able to consent (i.e. they're not under the influence, in subspace, having a mental health crisis, or a significant reduction in capacity)?
• Did you discuss the risks and agree how intense it will be? Note: you can't seriously injure someone, even if they consented to the act.
• Do you have a way to stop at any time - even if you're doing consensual non-consent - like a safeword or safe signal?
• What verbal or physical resistance did you agree that it's okay to ignore, in situations such as roleplay or power exchange?

Other Consent Models

And there are many more consent models out there used by various groups and communities as well. Everyone seems to have one that they love the most! In the long run, it doesn't matter which consent model(s) you adhere to and talk about; the key thing is that you are discussing and honoring the consent of everyone involved.

But here are some of the ones I didn't already cover; feel free to search them out for more consent consideration:

• SSICK - Safe, Sane, Informed, Consensual Kink
• BORK - Balls-Out Risky Kink - for more extreme acts where a higher level or risk is acknowledged, and the activities cannot be made 'safe'.
• CCC - Committed, Compassionate, Consensual
• 4 Cs - Caring, Communication, Consent, Caution (or)
• 4 Cs - Clear, Continuous, Coercion-Free, Conscious
• 5 Cs - Caring, Consent, Communication, Caution, Community
• 5 Pillars - Unambiguous, Revocable, Voluntary, Enthusiastic, Informed
• CRISP - Considered, Reversible, Informed, Specific, Participatory