Play Guides

One of the things I've talked about with other kinky folk lately is 'Play Guides'. Many of us have a writing up on FetLife describing how we play. It's a resource for potential play partners to check out and get a feel for whether they want to talk to you about play. But even better, it's a tool for you, the writer, to examine your play desires. The process of writing things out means a lot of self-examination and definition of what you want out of play as well as what you offer. Because knowing how you play and what motivates you will lead to better play - for you and your partners.

So what goes in a Play Guide? Really, it can be anything, but some of the topics you might consider including are:

• Experience Level - Where are you at in your kink journey? What do you want out of your play or your partners?
• Play Interests- What kinds of play are you interested in? Spanking, rope, electrical, sensual, or whatever kinds of things you might be interested in.
• Roles - Maybe you are a top for rope, but only bottom when it comes to impact. Do you play from a submissive or dominant perspective?
• Desired Partners - Who do you want to play with? Do you have a gender restriction on who you will play with? Or perhaps you only play with people with a certain amount of experience, or that have been vetted by people you trust.
• Limits & Safety Concerns - Just as important as what you WILL do, is what will you NOT do. You don't need to list every single detail - that's for negotiation - but general guidelines can be useful here. Anything else that might be a safety concern for play can also be mentioned.
• Responses - How do you react to play? Are you a well-behaved rope bunny who will be still and pose prettily, or are you a brat that will wiggle out of rope once it's tied?
• Expectations - What kind of negotiations do you want? How much aftercare do you need?

Everyone's Play Guide will be different, and will probably change over time. Putting one together should challenge you to really examine what you are after, and what you offer. Which will help both you AND your potential partner(s).